jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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