stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
