ya dads aren't the best wingmen
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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