why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
