After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
