I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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