Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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