Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
