No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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