the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
