nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
