in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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