Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
