Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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