Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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