my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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