we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
