He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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