it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
