I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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