i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
