do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
