hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Randomize
