Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize