Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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