So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
