you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize