I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize