just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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