Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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