Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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