he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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