3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
