Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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