suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
