Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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