It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
