Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
