they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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