I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she peed on how many people?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Randomize