My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Who died my cat blue again?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
