Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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