My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
