In the future we'll all be gay
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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