Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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