Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
