I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His hands were made for my vagina.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
