$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
