How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
