last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
