just come out here and I will go home with you...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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