I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
