i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
