i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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