How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
