He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
