I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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