the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
