I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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