if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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