oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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