a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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