i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think people are normalizing furries
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
