Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish you could order shots online.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
