Sry I called you an 8
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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