You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
