a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love you.
Bad choice
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
