I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me