Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.