she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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