So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..