i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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