Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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