come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
