i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Your penis caused this!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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