if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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